British · Authentic-ish British
Deep-fried Mars bar
243 kcal a serving, against 543 for the traditional version. That is 300 kcal off, or 55%, with 2.8g of protein. Serves 2. 25 minutes.
What the traditional version is
The genuine article is a full-size Mars bar, straight from the newsagent, dunked in thick batter and deep-fried in beef dripping. The shop uses the same batter as for fish, and the bar goes in whole. No fancy touches. The bar emerges dripping, hot, and slightly monstrous, with the chocolate just melting inside its crisp yellow jacket.
What changed, and what each change costs
Standard batter to fizzy water batter
Take out the egg and use carbonated water to keep it lighter and crisper. It doesn't save mountains of energy, but you'll shave off a few grams and the coating stays light.
What it costs you. The stickiness and structure take a hit. The batter won't cling as well, and you lose some of the classic puffy crunch. If it's crunch you're after, swap back.
Mars bar split in half, each person gets half a bar
The entire bar is an event; splitting is a sensible move for mere mortals who'd rather not make the front page of The Sun. This halves the main hit.
What it costs you. You get less of everything. Less chocolate, less caramel ooze, less regret. It's a loss, but it means you can still walk home.
Deep frying to oven baking with a mist of oil
Deep frying is where the biggest damage is done - each bite soaks up fat. Baking? Far less absorption. A spray of oil helps the batter try to crisp, but let's not pretend it's the same.
What it costs you. Here's the honest bit: the texture isn't just different, it's fundamentally wrong. You miss the hit of hot fat and that fried crunch. It's not even close, but you don't feel like you've eaten a duvet afterwards.
Beef dripping swapped for spray oil (vegetable)
Dripping brings flavour but most people don't have it at home, and it's pure saturated fat. Spray oil gets the job done in the oven and you only need a squirt.
What it costs you. You lose the old-school fish and chip smell and a chunk of nostalgia. It's more neutral and less rich, but your kitchen windows won't need scrubbing for a week.
The numbers
| Per serving | Traditional | Lightened |
|---|---|---|
| Calories | 543 | 243 |
| Protein | 5.3g | 2.8g |
| Fat | 37.2g | 15.1g |
| Saturated fat | 21.7g | 8.4g |
| Carbohydrate | 47.5g | 24.7g |
| Protein per 100 kcal | 1g | 1.1g |
Every figure is computed from the recipe's own weighed ingredient list against public food composition databases. The appendix in Authentic-ish British prints the exact database row used for each ingredient, so any number here can be checked.
Allergens. gluten, milk, sulphites.
The method is in the book
I'll be blunt: this isn't the deep-fried Mars bar you remember, it's an approximation. Baking can't do what hot fat does - the crunch isn't there, and the batter stays sensible instead of going properly wild. The fudgey, oozing centre is less dramatic and the coating is a bit anaemic. That said, if you're craving the spirit of reckless pudding but don't fancy the aftermath, this gets close enough for an after-dinner laugh. You won't fool any Glaswegian, but you also won't need a lie down in the car park. If you're after the full experience, get yourself to a chippy and do it properly - once.
The quantities and the method for this dish are in Authentic-ish British, along with 57 more. It is not out yet. The swap kit is free in the meantime.